Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Tribute to Our Not-So-Old Elders

Today was a fun wedding day: Jason and I had our first premarital counseling session and my mom and I took her wedding dress to a seamstress to see what kind of reconstruction is possible. While these errands were seemingly unrelated, they both led me to think about the fantastic framework that our parents have laid for me and Jason.

The errand to the seamstress was one I had been holding my breath about! A little background: my mom and dad got married in December of 1979. When they were married, my mom wore a dress made by my Aunt Ann. It had chantilly lace, a turtleneck and long sleeves. As a five year old, it was fun for me to try on - but never the dress I would wear when I got married to my Prince Charming. Fast forward to 2010...and my mom offers me her dress. Not in a pushy way. Not in a demanding way. Not in a way that made me think there were any expectations I would say yes. So, I did.

Mom told me I could have the dress reconstructed, so we met with Renee today to see if it was possible. Check out some of her work at Just Sew. She gladly took on the project and I am so excited to see what we are able to do to update the dress (so no turtleneck or long sleeves...but hanging on to that chantilly lace.) So quite literally, my mom laid a framework for me - in her dress selection and in letting me use her dress while also making my own changes to it.

Premarital counseling was another moment I had been holding my breath for! I have been just itching to know what the sessions would be like and now that we have done the first one, I am so excited about where we are headed. The pastor who is guiding us through these sessions put us both at ease and we were able to set a framework for how we will move forward as we prepare for our wedding. When we talked with the pastor, he mentioned the influence that our parents have had on us. It got me to thinking about how incredibly lucky Jason and I have been. Our parents have been terrifically, painfully honest with us as they have raised us. They have all admitted to possibly/probably telling us too much. But because of that, Jason and I do not walk towards this marriage thinking that it will be champagne and roses. Jason doesn't like champagne and I prefer tulips and gerber daises....and we both know that the average married day will not hold any of those things.

Because Jason and I were both the first child of parents who were practically infants themselves at our birth, we have both been privy to more than most children. With that honest reality, we did not walk towards adulthood or marriage blind and for that, I honor our not-so-old elders.

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